Updated: Nov 17, 2020
So let’s say that you want to quit smoking and the only strategy you know is going turkey. How many times have you tried so and was it successful?
If the answer is no, As a life coach I advise that it is not realistic to quit right away because you are not in a place right now where you can replace the habit of smoking with something that you find more satisfying.
Quitting a bad habit requires turning our life around, and in order to accomplish that one must transform certain personality traits. In order to be able to initiate this process you must realise the potential within yourself and trust yourself that you have the power to do so. If you were completely at one with that power within yourself, you would suddenly realise the resources available to make a change.
It must be said if you are engaging with a physical activity to make you fit on some level (physical social or psychological), you are already on a path of transformation, Time and reflection will be your only aid and at some point when you will have the readiness to quit this bad habit, if you keep pursuing the life you want you will be able to do so!
A life coaching session may help you navigate who you are and what motivates doing things: this process to find out about yourself on a deeper level however is different session to what you would learn in a personal training session.
So let’s find a way to re adjust your goal and re frame it within your personal circumstances. Example: needing to quit smoking
let's reframe that and say " I want to quit the bad habit of smoking"
Every time you put the word NEED on top of a sentence it becomes boring and it takes away all of the fun, let's find a way it's more enjoyable! and also if you have a bad habit you are not BAD you are doing bad things to yourself; the unfolding of a negative pattern in your life is the first step towards acknowledging that there is a POTENTIAL that at some point you will be able to deal with.
First 4 weeks: if lets say you smoke a pack of cigarette in 3 days try to smoke it in 5 days.
From the 5th week to the 8th: if you are successful with the goal of the first 4 weeks try to smoke a pack of cigarette in 7 days instead of 5.
If you are a social smoker and it helps you to socialise, let's make a plan so that we take into consideration your need to socialise....!
If you don’t want to smoke cigarette you must have a habit to replace it with: try doing things you enjoy and entertain yourself which, unlike the cigarettes have more benefit for you, these can be:
1. Learning new things
2. Socialise with people with whom you are learning new things with
3. Finding out activities that you enjoy and that you can do on your own: physical exercise or walking, it will let you burn calories and you will feel happier
4. Find someone you can speak to when people are not nice to you: this can be a life coach, a friend or even a priest if you are religious, they all have something to give you! Remember everyone has their weak spot, especially those who have criticism of you.
It takes maturity to be able to have compassion for those who are not able to have it for themselves and don’t realise what they are doing to others. Criticism often comes from those who are powerless and are not aware of what do with themselves. They are preaching what to do because they can't think for themselves on some level!
If you don’t have a friend or still talking to a friend doesn’t help and you still feel your mood needs to be lifted up perhaps it’s time to acknowledge your needs need to be addressed by an association with people who share the same problem or you may need to contact someone with appropriate set of professional skills such as a Life coach or a Psychodynamic Counsellor: even if you are not suitable to their treatment they will refer you to someone who can help.
Don’t wont to be part of a group and feel the plan does not work for you because you think it does not fit your personality? What about completing a personality test and getting some inspiration on what you could do based on who you are?
In Alchemy this problem was called "the squaring of the circle" and it was dealt with Active imagination (a Therapeutic technique term coined by CG JUNG) by trying to solve a rational problem with the work of imaginative processes in order to allow to centre the individual "the square" against the backdrop of the infinity. in Life coaching A similar tool is used for this purpose and it is called Future Pacing. Jung Advocated that everything that is real was once a fantasy and that fantasy is as real as what you see outside: it enters your mind and it can be a powerful motivating factor. When you use imagination you activate certain parts of the brain which are responsible to perceive reality!
want to try imaginative tool in practice try astro coaching click here