The way through Setback, a path of self understanding


It must have happened before you saw something you liked or you made a plan to reach a particular goal, but somehow you got lost on the way, the reason: Setbacks!

What types of setbacks, and can they be productive?



Setback number one, Regression! Freud coined the expression and the theory of the death instinct and the “desire to return to the womb…” we are talking here of the womb as something symbolic a state deprived of conflict in which we feel cared for. Making your way to life often means challenging yourself and pushing yourself towards a new lifestyle means changing things around and having to work hard for something!

So to avoid regression it requires cutting yourself off from the usual comfort, and learning how to avoid certain triggers or at least containing them.

I.e. you like to spend at least 3 hours or more a day watching the tv and eating junk food…. Fine! but are you sure you are doing something good to yourself with your time and do you feel like you are learning something?

Exercise: Write down 5 adjectives about the show that you like to watch and then plan for an activity which somehow reflects those attributes!

Resistance to the unknown and fear are defense mechanism studied and explored in all healing professions


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Setback Number Two, Relationships! You have done what it was required, and you get cynical comments from those that are close to you

I.e. you are going to the gym every and someone comments that according to their view “you didn’t change much or you are meant to be stronger and you are not” etc.

Well they are probably a bit envious of the new way you relate to yourself! So if the person you are talking to criticise you try mirroring back what they are saying


Exercise: try to visualise a person that typically undermines the way you are and that really gets under your skin, write down 5 issues that you think they have, and then rephrase them to yourself.



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Setback Number Three: lack of Knowledge! You are trying to burn fat but you end up eating the same things every day!


Exercise: buy yourself a book and learn a new recipe every day?


Do you know that no matter what you eat if you burn less than you ingest you will put on weight! Sign up to personal training and life coaching for proven methods of weight management

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Setback Number Four: Power and control Issues! There are so many things that can happen and that are beyond our own control! If you want to live life rather then trying to control you must learn how to go with the flow of things and allow yourself to let things happen.


Exercise: Write down 3 things you were not successful on and 3 you were. What do you think it was a game changer?



in the image Saint Augustine and the tale on the trinity and the child

Intuition is the ability to find the connection between seamlessly unrelated things and it provides with the opportunity to envisage a better future for yourself - or avoid a darker one! Harness intuition via the astrological interpretation of dreams : Astro Coaching

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Setback Number Five: Fatigue! You just worked so hard and see no light!

Perhaps some rest and some mindfulness exercise would be of great aid:


Exercise: Record your voice and thank the body for 5 activities you did during the day and say how you felt about it without being condescending. Listen to the tape while on meditation and acknowledge the feelings.


sometimes it is hard to find opportunity for growth when you fall... but Remember it is when we suffer that we are most pushed to grow!


haven't found the setback you suffer the most from? contact me here for a free life coaching consultation


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